A regulated nervous system is the key to overall well-being, as it directly influences our emotions, behaviors, and our ability to face everyday challenges. In the face of stress, anxiety, or trauma, our nervous system can become stuck in states of hyperactivation or freezing, which disrupts our inner balance and prevents us from truly living. With a dysregulated nervous system, we are more in survival mode than living. In fact, I invite you to check out my previous episode on the symptoms of a dysregulated nervous system to understand whether you might be affected and to what degree you could potentially be.
If you recognize yourself in the symptoms of a dysregulated nervous system, don’t panic!!
Fortunately, it’s possible to take action to regulate this balance. Remember: feeling bad is not a fatality!
By developing this capacity, we strengthen our resilience to stress and our ability to adapt to difficult situations. It also allows us to cultivate a sense of inner security, which is essential for a fulfilling and serene life.
Regulating your nervous system isn’t just about calming agitation or getting out of dissociation, nor is it just about doing simple body or somatic practices: it’s a holistic process that reconnects us to our body and our internal resources. It’s also an approach that takes into account our unique experiences and specific needs. And importantly, it’s a holistic process that considers our different bodies.
Adopting a global approach to regulate the nervous system allows us to address not only the symptoms but also the root causes of stress and imbalances. It considers the physical (chronic inflammation, for example, can exacerbate problems), emotional, mental, and spiritual aspects of the individual, ensuring complete healing. As the body, mind, and soul are interconnected, a holistic approach promotes more sustainable and balanced regulation of the nervous system. As I often repeat, regulating the nervous system sometimes requires complementary approaches: working with a naturopath or a functional medicine doctor, for example.
In this episode, I’ll outline 8 steps I’ve identified to regulate your nervous system. By following these 8 steps and allowing yourself the time to do so, you will gradually move out of survival mode and find more energy to live and experience inner security.
1- Understand how your nervous system works
The nervous system functions as a regulatory system: it alternates between states of stress (activation of the sympathetic system: fight/flight, or activation of the dorsal vagal system, which is the freezing and shutdown response) and states of rest (activation of the parasympathetic system: rest/digest). Understanding these mechanisms helps recognize that intense emotions or behaviors you may have are normal responses to stimuli perceived as threatening by your nervous system. To help with step 1, I recommend listening to my two episodes on polyvagal theory and the episode on neuroception to understand that your perception of danger and safety can be altered by trauma or by your past in general.
I believe it's essential to understand and integrate that your body reacts naturally and physiologically to protect you, even if these reactions sometimes seem inappropriate (hypervigilance, freezing, procrastination, anxiety, etc.), and in doing so, to develop self-compassion.
I won't go into the details, as I already cover this in the episode on your polyvagal theory, but the autonomic nervous system (ANS) consists of three main branches that influence your responses to stress or safety based on its perception:
1. Sympathetic system (fight/flight)
o Activation in the face of a perceived danger.
o Your body prepares for action: increased heart rate, muscle tension, rapid breathing.
o Associated emotions: stress, anxiety, anger, fear.
2. Parasympathetic system: dorsal vagal (freeze – freezing)
o Hypoactivation in the case of overload or intense danger.
o Your body "shuts down" to protect itself: slowed heart rate, fatigue, dissociation, a sense of disconnection.
o Associated emotions: sadness, apathy, a sense of emptiness.
3. Parasympathetic system: ventral vagal (safety, digestion, and connection)
o State of balance and safety.
o Your body is calm, your mind is clear, and you feel able to connect with others.
o Associated emotions: well-being, joy, trust.
The ANS acts as a detector of safety or danger; it is like a smoke detector. And sometimes, the detector will go off while you're just cooking and there's no real danger, but it will perceive that your house is burning! Your nervous system works the same way, depending on your history, your baggage, your pregnancy, your physical body, your mental/energetic body, and your environment. Even if no real danger is present, signals (internal or external) can trigger stress responses.
It’s important to understand how you function, so you can better observe yourself and understand your reactions to certain stimuli.
2- Recognize the state you're stuck in: Fight, Flight, or Freezing?
Any regulation work, in my opinion, requires self-observation and recognizing your state. You’ll know better how to react, which resources you can use, what environment to avoid, and which tools to put in place.
Identify whether you're in a fight/flight (combat/flee – hyperactivation) or freeze (freezing – hypoactivation) state.
Sympathetic Mode: Fight/Flight
This mode triggers when you feel threatened and experience the impulse to defend/fight or flee the situation. Your body prepares for action, often increasing your energy and triggering an adrenaline rush. It will either defend itself or run away (or avoid a conversation, for example).
How does this manifest? You will feel it if you're in hyperactivation, experiencing agitation, a faster heartbeat, shallow and rapid breathing, and increased muscle tension, especially in the shoulders and neck. You may also experience a surge of heat, sweating, or clammy hands. There's often a sense of anxiety, irritability, or nervousness in general. Your digestive system may be inhibited, leading to stomach aches, nausea, or loss of appetite. Hypervigilance is also present, making you more sensitive to your environment and ready to react (the famous tiger ready to pounce!).
Parasympathetic Mode: Dorsal Vagal (Freeze – Freezing)
When you feel completely overwhelmed or paralyzed by the situation (or don't have enough sympathetic energy), your nervous system can freeze, preventing you from reacting.
Symptoms of the dorsal vagal mode include a sense of emotional disconnection, as if you're cut off from yourself or your environment. You might experience significant fatigue or a feeling of numbness, both physically and emotionally. The body may feel heavy, with tense muscles and a sense of paralysis or inability to move. It's common to experience mental confusion or difficulty making decisions. Breathing may become slow and shallow, and you might feel drained or have the desire to isolate yourself. You might also experience an inability to react or speak, as if your body is frozen in fear.
Parasympathetic Mode: Ventral Vagal (Rest and Connection)
Your breathing will be calm and regular, facilitating a feeling of relaxation. You may experience emotional openness, the ability to connect authentically with yourself and others. The muscles are relaxed, and your body generally feels light and energized. Both verbal and non-verbal communication becomes fluid, with a sense of being present and connected. There’s a sense of inner calm and trust, and your mind is clearer and more focused. Social relationships feel positive and nourishing, without fear or judgment. Digestion functions normally, without disturbance, and your energy is well distributed. You may also experience joy, compassion, and a deep sense of safety in your environment.
Recognizing your current state is essential for choosing the right regulation techniques afterward, and self-observation is crucial!
3. Connect to your bodily sensations
Trauma or prolonged stress can disconnect you from your bodily sensations. It’s very common for people who consult with me to experience this disconnection, which is often considered "normal."
Connecting to bodily sensations means becoming aware of what your body is feeling in the present moment, without judgment. This involves observing physical sensations that emerge, whether they are pleasant or uncomfortable, such as muscle tension, warmth, cold, breathing, or even your heartbeat. By focusing on these sensations, you establish a direct connection with your body, helping you shift away from anxious or distracted thoughts and return to the here and now. It also helps identify early signs of stress or nervous system activation, such as tight muscles or shortness of breath.
Sometimes when I ask my clients: "Close your eyes and tell me what you feel in your body," some people will respond: "I don't know." And that’s completely okay to start there. Your practitioner will then need to adapt the questions or requests accordingly. In this case, we’ll simply begin by feeling your hand on your thigh or your foot on the ground and focus on that. Don’t hesitate to start very gently and not judge yourself if you don't feel anything at first! It’s very common, and I assure you.
To reconnect with your body, you can simply:
• Close your eyes, breathe deeply, and mentally scan your body (from head to feet or vice versa).
• Notice the sensations: warmth, tension, tingling, lightness, or numbness that you may feel. And if you feel nothing, that’s okay—start with a small area.
The goal is to observe without judgment, simply welcoming what is present in your body with as much neutrality as possible!
4. Recognize your body’s needs
This involves identifying and understanding what your body needs to return to a state of calm and regulation. When the nervous system is imbalanced, it’s essential to be in tune with the bodily signals to determine what actions or resources can support the healing process. This means noticing bodily signs such as fatigue, thirst, hunger, muscle tension, heat, cold, etc.
• Once you’re connected to your sensations (step 3), ask yourself:
o What does my body need right now?
 Movement?
 Rest?
 Water, food, or sleep?
 Comfort or safety?
 A hug?
By listening to these signals, you can identify your body’s needs and respond appropriately. And again, I encourage you to adopt a non-judgmental approach. If you don’t know what you need because you've never asked yourself that question before, that’s completely okay and quite common. This is where you realize the importance of being supported by a trauma-informed therapist who can guide you and help you reconnect gently with your body!
5. Respond to your body’s needs and check your sensations again
Once you’ve identified a need, take a small concrete action to address it.
o If your body needs movement, take a walk, stretch, or do a yoga session if possible.
o If it needs comfort, wrap yourself in a blanket, take a warm bath, or ask for a hug if you have a pet or a support person. If not, give yourself a self-hug or hold a cushion, for example.
o Are your emotions overwhelming? Why not try an EFT session or practice breathing exercises, such as heart coherence, to calm down?
After meeting that need, observe your body again:
o Is there less tension? More calm? Any new symptoms? Then, go back and forth between steps 3, 4, and 5 until you feel a sense of relief.
The more you do this, the more you'll increase your body awareness and develop a healthy relationship with your body. You’ll also find it easier to be present in the moment.
6. Find an external micro-resource to help with activation
Micro-resources are small external aids that can support your regulation process. And the word "micro" is important. You can’t always access your therapist, a massage, or a one-hour somatic practice. Start gently and adapt to your nervous system. If it’s stuck in fight/flight, a one-hour bath or massage might be too much at once and could be perceived as danger.
Micro-resources might include:
• Listening to soothing or motivating music.
• Using a weighted blanket or a comforting object.
• Calling a friend or simply being with a loved one or pet.
• Being in contact with nature: touch a tree, smell a flower, walk barefoot.
• Inhaling an essential oil with calming properties.
• Feeling the warmth of a hot water bottle or a cup of herbal tea.
These micro-resources help calm the nervous system by sending signals of safety.
One of my favorite resources: the sun. Whenever there’s a ray, I’m there! The cold, cloudy seasons are definitely harder for me.
7. Cultivate inner safety
Nervous system regulation involves developing inner safety, even in the absence of reassuring external stimuli. I’ve dedicated two episodes to inner safety, which I really recommend because they are fundamental for me.
How to cultivate inner safety:
• Practice self-soothing techniques like trauma informed breathwork, heart coherence breathing, meditation, EFT, or positive affirmations.
• Use grounding techniques: 5-4-3-2-1 or walk barefoot in nature or engage in any grounding practice (butterfly hug, alternating thigh tapping, pottery, gardening, etc.).
• Place a hand on your heart and remind yourself that you are safe here and now while breathing deeply.
• Visualize a place or memory where you feel at peace and anchor that moment or place in your body’s awareness of the here and now.
• Nature! Hug trees and let your Pocahontas spirit run free!
Over time, this helps you strengthen your ability to return to a state of calm, even in stressful situations, and navigate life’s waves with more confidence and faith.
8. Accept that it takes time
Accepting that nervous system regulation takes time is a crucial step in the healing and regulation process. The nervous system, especially when it has been imbalanced by chronic stress or trauma, requires time to return to a state of calm and safety. This acceptance allows you to reduce the pressure to "get better quickly" and helps you be more patient and kind toward yourself. The regulation process is gradual and nonlinear, meaning you may have ups and downs, and that's perfectly normal.
Recognizing that it takes time also encourages you to celebrate each small progress, whether it’s a reduction in tension, an improved ability to calm down, or a better awareness of your body. This acceptance also opens you up to regular, sustainable practices that work for you, like meditation, conscious breathing, or movement, which, in the long term, will have a positive impact. Understanding that healing is an ongoing process helps you stay motivated and compassionate with yourself, especially when there are "down" phases, which are normal.
Remember that gradual changes accumulate: every small action you take to calm yourself or respond to your needs counts. If today you feel safety for just 2 seconds, in a year it may be 15 minutes or 30 minutes—and that’s amazing! Be kind to yourself on this journey you’re taking, and don’t hesitate to seek support from the right people. I can help with coaching, and the breathwork I lead twice a month in groups supports nervous system regulation when included in a routine.
Comments